My Very Own Secret Thoughts

I’ve recently reviewed Jana Wolff’s memoir, Secret Thoughts of An Adoptive Mother. I’ve also shared my own impressions and experiences regarding the issues she raises in two of my blogs: here and here . But I promised myself that rather than just react to Wolff’s experiences and feelings and comment on how mine were the same or different, I would take the time to recall and bring into the sunlight other thoughts I did have during the process of deciding when, how, from where and who to adopt—and through the process of actually doing it. Assumptions and feelings just below … Continue reading

Thoughts of Another Adoptive Mother, Continued

My last two blogs have been a review of Jana Wolff’s memoir Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother and my reflections on my experiences and their similarities and differences with Wolff’s.Those reflections are continued here. I related to Wolff’s descriptions of her family—how happy they were and eager to include this new grandchild, but still recognizing something different. “Being adopted and being of color changed the way this baby was held and welcomed by his new extended family,” Wolff declares. “Ari was neither the first grandchild nor the first grandson, but he was touched with the gingerness of first-timers,” Wolff … Continue reading

The Many Languages of Mother

In my last blog, I mentioned conversations that have been flying around the blogosphere this spring. I suppose it’s not surprising that in May our thoughts turn to mothers. A heated conversation has arisen among the international adoption community over referring to yourself as “mother” in the language of the child’s birth country. Adoption catalogs carry catalogs with jewelry, shirts, tote bags, etc. which have the word Mother, and sometimes Father or Grandmother or Grandfather, in the languages of the various countries which send the most adoptees to the U.S. Since my daughters are Korean, I’ll use the Korean word … Continue reading

Secret Suspicions

In my last blog, I shared some fears I had as I began the adoption process. Here, I will share some fears I had about the overseas agency and overseas adoption process in general. These fears came from stories that circulate about foreign officials or adoption workers telling adoptive parents what they want to hear, not tell all the fees, etc. I had no reason to fear our agency—except for room and board, we paid all our fees to the American agency, who paid the Korean adoption agency. Nevertheless, the rumors lingered. I was secretly afraid that unexpected delays would … Continue reading

Residential Treatment

It was just a few days after Christmas when everything fell apart and our nearly 9-year-old daughter Makala lost all sense of reality. We were getting ready to celebrate all of our birthdays, and other important dates. It was approaching the 4th anniversary of Gotcha Day. Worse still it was about to be the 5th anniversary of the day the police had taken Makala and her baby brother Jeremiah into foster care. January is usually a very stressful time of year for our family. But, this past January was looking as if we might not make it as a family. … Continue reading